hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
