Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
