Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
