oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
