Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
