OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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