I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How does it feel to date your dad?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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