how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
