With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
