Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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