Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
