Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
