Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
