Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
soo... how was my night?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
