Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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