Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
