"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
