I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
