Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he's single and there are thong briefs.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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