but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
