Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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