We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
