I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
