Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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