margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
