I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
