for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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