hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
