just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
