Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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