Have you finally orgasmed yet?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im holly from the hills drunk
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
