Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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