I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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