Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
