I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
