his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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