in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to have your abortion
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
