yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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