so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
