So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
