That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
