I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
