Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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