Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
