you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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