Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
