I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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