i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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