ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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