Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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