Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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