dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
