just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
