His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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