the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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