I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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