So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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