He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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