I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
