Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sex in a hospital.. check
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
