Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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