Whod you bang
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
