you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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