If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
